Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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