Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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