Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
