I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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