This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
