carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
