I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
