I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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