she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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