it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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