Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
