Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize