I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
