I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
