he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
