Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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