It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
