I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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