all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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