at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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