Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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