he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
