Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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