So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
