Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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