stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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