you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
