chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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