At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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