your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
