Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize