i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
did i just pee glitter
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