So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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