The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
