You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
