I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize