Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
