We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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