Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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