She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
