have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Can Purell be used as lube?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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