How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
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i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Blood and glitter go together right?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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