In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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