she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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