Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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