Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
