Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
