Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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