How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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