you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
