I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
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