i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
