Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
