Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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