It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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